All the leaves are gone, and the sky is gray. . . .

I have some thoughts that I need to share, ask, ponder, and study.

I cannot figure out why I feel so empty. My life is teeny-tiny; I did that on purpose. Have I lopped off too much?

Yesterday, the colonel at Don's work reported that Don was the ONLY one on his whole installation that made a commitment to the United Way campaign. Over 400 people work at Camp Withycombe. Pitiful.

I realize that the students at DDHS have many very sad stories about their lives - - foster homes, alcoholic parents, mom in jail, drug dealers, sex offenders, poverty, domestic violence, throw away kids, refugees, no faith - - all this is terrible. Stories these young minds should never know are the norm here. When do these kiddos take responsibility for their own lives and move to make a difference? What they have learned is not the extended helping hand but the open, upturned palm waiting for a hand out.

Briana is a beautiful and capable young woman - - I wish she could see that in herself. Staci, too.

I miss Momma.

Am I a ticking time bomb? Every now and then and more often as of late, I feel this flutter in my heart. It stops my breath and makes me cough. What is that?

Grandpa OB, all 92 years of him, has moved back home from an adult foster care home where he was WELL cared for. The first thing he told Vicki was that he intended to drive to the grocery story. He cannot even walk. He has a right to do as he pleases, but I think this was a bad idea. He has refused professional in home nursing care and his son Pat is not trained nor is he willing to be a thorough care giver. That fierce Irish stubborn streak in him is so powerful. I simultaneously admire and reject that notion of independence.

I am about to start installments of my novel here. Having a blog has helped me get over a little of the fear of exposing my words to the world.

Christmas has been conspicuously absent from this post; that will come soon enough. Actually, I have LOTS of fun stuff planned and some interesting quilts to share when I get a new camera!

Happy Advent,

Dottie

Smile, work, play, read, love, pray!